Summer Woes Like Boredom

Ba Dum Tsss..*

Enter Summer, that ‘thing’ that you always sorta wanted, but you never really knew what to do with. Now readers, many may disagree,  but Summer is a bitch – you fall for ‘it’, but it is not really into you, it just wants you for the sex and when it leaves you, you feel like shit. So, dear reader pay heed to the asterisked condition that comes with every Summer –

*Do not fall in love with me, you effin’ romantic human garbage, Capeesh?

Anyway, I don’t intend to write more about that Summer, (really one word would suffice: bitch), I am talking about the season, not really, I am talking about the one month of summer and two months of monsoon that we call summer vacation.

Now, summer vacations are great, but like everything they come with a certain asterisk

*applicable only if you have an awesome internship in some foreign university

I am kidding. Summers are okay, but they come as a whole package that includes depression, loneliness and boredom. Kidding again.You can have an awesome summer

 

The Philosophy behind an awesome Summer:

Consider this,throughout the year you have been slogging like a woe begotten campaign secretary to Donald Trump  – totally pointless, with the conclusion being – “you’re fired.” (People who can’t relate to the former, will find themselves having a rather pointless summer. : P). Now Summer offers you a real deal – plenty of ‘time’ to yourself –  to rejuvenate, to get close to your spirit animal. Unfortunately, just like with money, the unwise tend to squander the ‘time’

Many a fool have proclaimed that summer is their time to become ‘productive’ or the ‘era’ in which they ‘do everything that they have ever wanted to do’ (Shouldn’t that be everyday?). The ‘New Year’s Resolution Delusion’ is strong with them – it hasn’t been working for the last 18 or more years of your life – it isn’t suddenly going to. (Unless you are a special snowflake, in which case, Good for you :)))

Others have proclaimed that they are going to ‘enjoy’ themselves to the fullest, but what is ‘enjoying’ – do you feel great after all those hours of partying? Don’t you feel the guilt of squandering your youth, bleeding your soul? (If not, you are a special snowflake, in which case, Good for you :)))

Most of us either fit into either of the categories or are a bit of both – unless you have evolved to greater wisdom. In any case you can still have your awesome summer – if you focus on what summer is really about – rejuvenating yourself, exploring new things, creating stuff you like and dreaming. Summer can be the full package.

Now, instead of pointless advising you about how to go about it – various ‘methodologies’, I decided to write my experience of a very satisfying summer, so that you know, maybe you could take some pointers and like Donald Trump would say – “take your summer back” , “make summer great again”.

(Proceed to the second article)

*The author doesn’t really believe in perfect summers and discourages people from pursuing such pathologically depressing ideologies

 

————————————————————————–

When I started writing this piece, I intended it to be intensely sarcastic, like a College Humor post; unfortunately I do not have the necessary ‘cool’ points for that,so instead I give to you a ‘BuzzFeed’ version:

 

Nine Things That I Did This Summer That Made My Summer Awesome That You Should Do Too If You Want An Awesome Summer, Because I Am Such A Know It All Jerk.

TL;DR A humorous take on things to do in summer by an author guilty of summer cliches.

 

Coding :

Now before you get started on me as “you’re one of those cliche geeks, who think they are so geeky”, I have a confession: I am one of those classic jerks who was so into coding because I thought it was cool – thanks to super parents who never left a stone unturned in giving me the right kind of exposure, I got smart enough to code a ‘space invaders’ game on flash, when I was in eighth grade. But I am not talking about that kinda coding – I am talking about the simple satisfaction you get when you make something work. I am using “coding” as a meta-level reference to anything that has the following characteristics :

  1. Makes you feel productive
  2. Can be broken down and learnt, one step at a time.
  3. Gives you the satisfaction of completing something

 

So it could be designing a logo for somebody or making a web-comic for someone or doing mathematical proofs for somebody else. In short do something meaningful that gives you a quick high

 

Internship:

Some people have the mind-astounding capability of picking the right internship that matches with their interests and their long term plan of world domination – I am not one of those people. In an overly competitive world, we end up things that we, well, end up with. However, a study says that 83 percent of people say that they feel 83 percent more satisfied just because they did an internship (statistics from some Larney Stinson). Internships almost always make you learn something . They are a way to figure out things that you would like in your career or otherwise – exploring. Clearly comes under our philosophy for an amazing summer.

 

Hanging out:

Hanging out with friends seems like a great idea, but it doesn’t really work well for me. For one it takes a monumental effort to get a bunch of people off their asses and to go ‘somewhere’, which mostly ends up being a movie or something that I would rather do alone, than actual spending time with each other. What I look forward to is a lot of ‘hanging out’ with myself. It’s great when you think about it – a full chocolate sundae all to yourself, then some good ol’ burgers or let’s be classy and go for some pizza, no one to feel jealous of, no wondering if the person next to you got a better slice. It’s just you, all to yourself. Of course, I would like one slice of every kind on the menu and then extras on everything that I like, but even in summer, reality stretches only so far. But things can always get better – a trek in the mountain, all to yourself – sounds like paradise right? I have been thinking about doing this for quite a while – I still have 3 weeks of summer left -so hope!

 

Reading:

What is better than some good ol’ book sniffing, in the quiet days of summer. ‘Nuf said. Go grab yourself a heartwarming tragedy or an exhilarating romance piece or a heart-throbbing thriller, or nail-biting horror. Huh? That did make sense.

Strum them Six strings:

Time to catch up with all those things you always wanted to do, but never had the time for like – painting the sky red, singing your heart out or strumming dem’ six strings.

Comedy Shows:

Get ‘Riggity Riggity Wrecked’ in the jitters of questionable humour ranging from toilet jokes to armageddon to downright wacky. Laughter is the best medicine there is, they said – I wonder in how many different ways, am I going to die of  #ODing  #dope. Recommended shows are Rick and Morty, South Park, Jake and Amir.

 

Self Care (Gymming):

Some of us spent the semester eating crap balls (Mess food),while others were eating turd sandwiches (Dhaba food) – home food is a respite for all from such toxic indulgences. However for a full recovery it is necessary to pump the sludge out by sweating it out with some fitness program, preferably with a trainer. I cannot emphasize how much having a trainer is underrated. Self care is like chocolate, while most people (excluding me) can’t have too much of it at one point of time, having a little bit everyday, is intoxicating and healthy at the same time so say no to cigarettes and yes to chocolates (self care)

 

Music:

Have you wondered how *cough some people can effortlessly pen down their thoughts into an amazing piece of art. Many a ‘good’ artist have often commented that “It’s not me, man, it’s the dope doing it’s things”. And music is #dope.

I have gotten myself addicted to this amazing dash of brain suckling neurosis – Tired of Tomorrow is the one of the most depressing albums I have come across, and believe me I have heard many.
(the editor silently vouches for this by vigorously nodding her head)

There is also cheesy music from both 2016 and 1976:
Modern Lovers by Modern Lover (1976)
The Lone Ranger of Love by Jack Oblivion and the Shreiks

I could go on and on (by now the number of songs in all my playlists exceeds 4000, a modest number compared to 9000) So I am just gonna say there is music to every emotion that the soul can fathom.

 

Self Love:

This is the most important of all and trumps all the above mentioned points. I cannot possibly overstate this – Summer is really all about you. So have that  hour long shower with extra pedicure and spa. Don’t feel bad about …Treat yourself to hours of staring at the ceiling dreaming of Natalie Portman, or if you are being cheesy – the Universe. Take time to float through each day relishing the world – The Good, the bad and the Ugly. Feel the embrace of Life as it gently nudges you towards the future. Drown your ‘self’.

There was this moment where i imagined myself as Elrond and was talking to my head (Arwen) asking “Do I also not have your love?” Okay, that was super gaay – now moving on to the part where i stuff myself into a hole and pretend that I am a carrot. At this point I am questioning myself why, I titled this article as Summer Woes like boredom, maybe I was being sarcastic (I was totally being sarcastic) , but now I think I should have titled it as Help Needed! Summer is turning me into a Monster. GGGrhhhhhhh!

*shrieks

*total silence

*exits

Ramakrishna R M

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