The 9 Best Inventions of the Modern World

…because I was too lazy to think of a tenth one.

Well, mid-sems are around the weekend, yet here I am, typing away on my laptop. I’ve been being badgered about writing something for the lexicon for weeks now. I’ve decided to pen down a list of things that have made my life a more enjoyable experience. And no, the wheel isn’t at number one.

Neither is the cell phone. 😛

  1. Earphones

Imagine if you wanted to listen to music on the go and all you had were loud, annoying speakers. You can’t listen to music in class. You can’t listen to music without your mom listening in. Basically, you can’t listen to music anywhere.

Fun Fact: Earphones were invented in the kitchen (and in case you were wondering, no, it wasn’t a woman).

Best budget earphones? I use the Sennheiser CX 180.

  1. Mayonnaise

They say that the best foods originated in France. But Mayo is Spanish through and through. Mayo is the one thing that goes well with everything. And if you’re a Mayo-lover, then there’s no such thing as too much Mayo.

mayo

  1. Duct Tape

“Duct tape is like the Force. It has a Light side, a Dark Side, and it holds the universe together.”

Simply put, there’s nothing that cannot be fixed with enough duct tape. Broke a chair? Use duct tape. Space shuttle coming apart in orbit? Get out there and use duct tape. Kidnapping-victim just won’t shut up? Duct tape the s*** out of him. If duct tape can’t fix it, it can’t be fixed.

  1. Post-it Notes

From making reminders to jotting notes, this versatile bundle of paper is the ultimate tool for the Dory in you. Cheap, effective, yellow. What else do you need?

kickme

5. Book Thumb (…Eh, I just made up that name)

Trying to lie down and hold a book open with one hand? It is now possible! Want it? Get it on Amazon here.

bookthumb

Not so useful for e-books, by the way.

4. Earphone Splitter

Yes, they exist! Admit it, every single one of us has needed this at some point of time. Once you’ve got these, watching a movie with speakers will be history.

earphonesplitter

Serving suggestion: Best served with Horror flicks.

Stop reading this article and BUY IT RIGHT NOW!

3. Toilet Paper (even if you’re Indian)

If you’re a cleanliness freak (I’m not), this is one weapon you absolutely must have in your arsenal. When you have a strip of toilet paper, the possibilities are endless. Toilet paper can be used to clean more, uh, the obvious. Your study table, laptop screen, that dusty suitcase which has been under your bed since the beginning of time. If there’s nothing duct tape can’t fix, then there’s nothing toilet paper can’t render free of dust.

You can buy scented toilet paper on Amazon. Just saying.

2. Nutella (read ‘Heaven in a Jar’)

This list would be incomplete without the King of all Chocolate. The answer to life, the Universe, and everything. Nutella is love, Nutella is life. Did you know that the Trojan War was fought over a jar of Nutella after Paris stole it from Menelaus? Now you do.

Advice: If your jar is almost empty, put some ice cream in it. (Thank me later.)

1. Heated toilet seats

Yes, you read it right. No, by toilet seats, I don’t mean anything else. You can be grateful to the Japanese for anime and tons of other stuff, but you can never thank them enough for inventing this. Coupled with sophisticated ways of washing that butt of yours, these toilets provide the ‘ultimate pooping experience’. Once you plant your hind on it, believe me, you’ll never wanna get up.

toilet

Arish Ojaswi.

Editor’s Note: Since the time of writing, the existence of Nutella finger biscuits has also come to the notice of our team (Picture set as featured image). Note that this may be considered as a tenth, unranked item on this list.

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