Group Studies Never Work

Group Studies Never Work- And here’s the reason why

Come exam time, and you shall find a lot of scrambling around- for books seldom read, to watch video lectures that you’ve downloaded at the beginning of the semester, and when all else fails, clinging on to the hope that that one Hermione Granger of your class decides to help you. But alas, you’re seldom the only one with that idea and you see an entire bunch of people gathered at that room where you thought you could be enlightened. Here’s a list of some of the species (some of them very rarely spotted in the vicinity of books) that you might spot at any such gathering.

The All- Knowing Dumbledores:

These guys are the reason that any of us normal mortals even pass the exam. They make confusing equations sound simple and decipher the jargon of Fourier and Laplace for anyone seeking their help. With an aim like Dumbledore, striving for the greater good, theirs are the retreats that people crowd at in the hour of need.

The Ever-Sleeping Garfields:

You’ll often find these guys on the bed taking a “power nap” that should help them concentrate better when they wake up. But what they intend to do and what actually happens are often two very different things.  They are prone to keep postponing their time of waking up, and often end up waking up in the morning, having barely any time to rush to the exam hall.

Lummox is my middle name!

These guys hold up the discussion from moving forward like a lorry stuck on a one way narrow street. They question everything, and refuse to understand explanations. They raise tempers and often break up the group study by pissing off the almighty nerd in the room.

Dennis the Menace

If a paper missile hits you in the midst of tackling Timoshenko’s beam theory, you can be sure that it is someone belonging to this creed. Characterized by places on the outer reaches of the circles and constant fidgeting, these guys do not know what everyone else is doing. They are here to play Peeves the poltergeist, and more often than not, there is no Bloody Baron to put them back under control.

Thank you, Mr. Obvious

If the lummoxes are the ones that piss the almighty off, these are worse. They keep repeating statements and facts and ask such obvious questions that you’d want to kill yourself. They’re as bad as the dumbest cartoon/TV characters you ever came across, and then some more. If you do not have one of these at the discussions, you could probably even discuss something constructive for once.

Till death do we part:

Even if the world were to end today, these guys would still have to make that call every 15 minutes, and text every thirty seconds to their better halves. They cannot, and shall not live without texting her/him the amount of portion they completed, the number of cereal grains they just ate and the number of times they swore to think of the subject but they couldn’t, because of her/him.

The Blitzkrieg Boys

If the rest of the group are as unruly and disorganized as a group of gorillas, these guys are the zookeepers to guide them. Often possessing as much knowledge as the know-it-all himself, they are only there to brush up their concepts and discuss the finer points of the mysteries of engineering. They are not inclined towards social service and often leave with their questions answered before you even know that they were there.


-Ganesh Mahidhar


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