Four Stages of College Life

  1. The Wide-Eyed Enthusiast Phase


So, school is over. Whatever you were or weren’t in school really doesn’t matter anymore. It’s a blank slate and all yours to start over. It’s time to reveal the Tyler Durden in you. These gruelling school years have really shut you up in a box. You need people. So, you go where you can find the most like-minded (or not) individuals of this new creed – Society Orientations! The tiny orientation room is packed with fucchas*. The mercury has climbed a notch with all the enthusiasm. Ideas are being spewed out faster than a silkworm spews its thread. Certainly you belong here. The orientation week ends and your Society Tally stands at 19. What? You are a talented individual – sure you like quizzing, dancing, debating, all-things-tech (pardon my ignorance); it definitely is your duty to save trees, rainforests, endangered animals, the Javan rhinoceros, the Amur Leopard and unicorns; gender studies is all the rage now and the College ping-pong captain is your best friend. You couldn’t say no. Now associations are fine and as great as they come. What comes with them however is less of a friend – responsibilities. Oh crap! You just made a thousand posters, worked on your oh-so-cool dance moves and have a meeting in an hour. You are everywhere and all over the place. Your academics is lagging behind and caffeine has stopped having its effect. You can’t seem to please anyone and they just chucked you out of ping-pong. You need a PLAN.

  1. The Disillusionment


So Tyler Durden has to take the back seat. Looks like you are not super-human. There are assignments to finish, projects to make, presentations to come up with and surprise tests to face. Geez! You thought college life would be different. So you take out that neatly stacked pencil case of yours, throw away the cape and do the needful. You had hoped that college would be less mundane, that the coursework would be more challenging and less run-of-the-mill and that the teachers would all be like Walter Lewin or Bill Nye. Well, that is not what you got. You have the interesting classes and those where you contemplate jumping off a bridge, you have the challenging and fun assignments and those that make you seem no better than a 5th grader, you have your Bill Nyes but also your Ben Steins ( check the “Anyone, anyone” teacher on Youtube). You thought you had climbed your way out of yin-yang but you’re still here.

  1. The Acceptance


So, everytime the depression set in in college, the best thing was a rather unhealthy dose of Friends – you know the cheesy 90’s sit-com. It sucked and we loved it. Point is it’s all mountains and valleys and the terrible lack of balance. This is a unicycle ride that only goes uphill. There will be setbacks and defeats and general unhappiness but then we are all in this together. No one’s playing with marked cards. Turn on your guilty pleasure song and miss a few deadlines. How bad can it get? Enjoy the time you have because as an eminent philosopher Eminemicus once said Life isn’t a Nintendo game, you can’t get it back again. So stop stressing and live in the moment. It’s all gonna turn out fine.

  1. The Dude/ The Devil-may-care Phase


Woah! I said miss a few deadlines. A FEW! You have taken the living-in- the-moment too seriously haven’t you? You have been missing a lot of classes. You have done nothing productive in over a month. You have watched every cult classic and your room at night is more trippy  than a Tim Burton movie.

  1. The Cinderella Man Phase


I have no idea why I named this ‘The CInderella Man’ phase because you have shown no such resolve. However, I have a soft corner (read great admiration and respect) for anyone who messes up bigtime and then comes to his own rescue. You borrowed all the notes. You completed all the assignments. You handed in all the projects. You haven’t slept for three days straight but you’re still in it to win it. You study hard and fast. You do well in all your papers and your CGPA has no idea of what you have been upto. Guess you are super-human after all! All hail and amen to that!


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