A guide to taking lite

Before you read any further, know this. LITE IS GOD. Lite is the answer to all questions during your stay on campus. Lite is the way you shall work. Not taking lite is harmful to health. So as one profound, extremely talented to-be engineer said (read shameless self-appreciation), taking lite is the key to life on campus.

As everything else, this particular phenomenon, and in turn, the term was borne out of a need. Just out of high schools and junior colleges where a sixteen year old kid is forced to read books that rival his urge to go out and socialize, college offers a sort of peace that another could seldom offer. The peace of relative independence from scrutiny, criticism and plain old douchebaggery of colleges and coaching centers. And this promotes the phenomenon that is officially called procrastination, and for those who simply can’t take the pain to spell the word in its entirety (read true procrastinators), taking lite.

The origins of this word are shrouded in mystery. If you perform a google search, and take opinions, it is often voiced that, god, too lazy to do anything during the first six days of creation, made a rather messed up world on the penultimate day, and took lite, his concept of the idealistic universe. From then, lite has been passed on to his descendants in making things, the engineers. And this is what has enabled kids to thrive even in the middle of ever surmounting stress, multiple assignments, projects, presentations, exams, and everything else that college throws at you. And this is often fueled further by the lack of need to do anything original for any of the assignments, leading to mass reproduction of the works of that one outlier who doesn’t take lite (Activities performed by trained professionals. Attempt to try under risk of being called a nerd).

In time, this practice of taking lite continues to extend its reaches over all the aspects of a person’s life, and swallows him, entire and whole. And any attempt to break out of it is met by unexpected fierce resistance by the mind. So if you intend to go to class every day, or do your own assignments, or keep your room clean, or take a bath every day or a million other things that one makes when he just comes out of the sobering atmosphere of the vacation, forget it. It is not going to happen. Period. Lite is a way of life. Learn to live with it.

-Ganesh Mahidhar


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